


I'm not leaving you

by Lesatha



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, M/M, because in my head they always end up together, inspirated by Ragnar's line in the last promo, maybe spoilerish, sort of, they end up together anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 23:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3097070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lesatha/pseuds/Lesatha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You do not leave me!</p>
<p>When Ragnar had first said so to Athelstan, it was out of fear and anger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm not leaving you

_You do not leave me!_

 

When Ragnar had first said so to Athelstan, it was out of fear and anger. Anger, because how could Athelstan even think of a life far from Ragnar? He had been crucified and tortured the one time they had parted ways, wasn’t that enough? But mostly, Ragnar felt angry with himself for not seeing Athelstan’s trouble, for not realising that the melancholic looks Athelstan sometimes cast towards the sea weren’t _just_ melancholic looks.

 

Why did he want to leave again? Honestly, Ragnar hadn’t listened at the time, his mind had gone blank after Athelstan’s quiet “I must leave”. Perhaps he had said something about going back to a monastery in Wessex. It didn’t matter.

 

“No!”

 

It may have been tears prickling at the corner of Athelstan’s eyes, but with the dark lighting of the room, it was hard to tell. That, and maybe because Ragnar’s own vision became blurry with unshed tears.

 

“I have to go,” Athelstan had insisted, voice breaking.

 

“No! You do _not_ leave me!”

 

Ragnar had gripped him by the side of his neck, unsure if he wanted to push him away or pull him against his chest and never let him go. Athelstan hadn’t even fought back, only circling Ragnar’s wrist with gentle fingers.

 

“I can’t stay anymore.”

 

The fact that it sounded more like a plea than an explanation may have been the worse. Ragnar had tightened his hold on Athelstan’s neck, shaking his head. With the lump forming in his throat, uttering a single word was physically impossible. Ragnar hadn’t been able to do anything other than finally dragging Athelstan close to his chest, both hands buried into his dark curls. They had stayed like this for a long time, a litany of _no, no, no_ , going through Ragnar’s head, interrupted only when he had felt his tunic dampening enough to stick to his skin where Athelstan’s head laid on his shoulder. Then the denial had turned into acceptance.

 

 

_You do not leave me!_

Ragnar had foolishly believed he would never have to say those hated words again. Athelstan hadn’t left right away when they came back to Wessex, deciding that he would join a monastery when all of their matters would be settled with Ecbert. Ragnar only hoped the way Athelstan kept clinging to him at night meant there was another reason he had delayed his departure.

 

He shouldn’t have stayed. Ragnar should have pushed him into the first monastery they saw, he should have kept him away from the battlefield. This way, Athelstan’s blood wouldn’t be dripping in the grass right now. His head wouldn’t be on Ragnar’s lap as he fought to breathe, a thin trail of blood trickling from the corner of his mouth.

 

“You do not leave me,” Ragnar exclaimed, despair replacing anger.

 

He tried to wipe the blood away from Athelstan’s cheek, only managing to smear it even more.

 

“Please, don’t leave me…”

 

Athelstan’s lips stretched into a pained smile, blue eyes seeming strangely at peace as he looked at Ragnar one last time.

 

“I’m not leaving you,” Athelstan whispered.

 

Although as he closes his eyes, it feels very much like he is leaving Ragnar.

 

 

Ragnar had sworn he would make them pay for Athelstan’s death. He killed many men in retaliation, but not enough to his taste. This task will be Bjorn’s from now on, for Ragnar will never get his revenge.

 

Apparently, King Aelle never forgave him for killing his brother. Ragnar can’t blame him –he never forgave the Saxons for killing Athelstan. _Doesn’t matter anymore_ , Ragnar thinks as he lies at the bottom of Aelle’s snake pit. The fall makes him feel dizzy, or maybe the venom is already kicking in. Yeah, it must be the venom, for when Ragnar lets his head loll aside, he doesn’t see the snakes. Only Athelstan, lying on his side next to Ragnar, head pillowed on one arm. He seems oddly casual like this, with his soft smile and his loving eyes boring into Ragnar’s.

 

“Do not leave me,” Ragnar pleads. Maybe he just thinks the words. He doesn’t feel his lips moving.

 

Athelstan chuckles, extending the arm that isn’t under his head to stroke Ragnar’s cheekbone. His touch feels warm, or perhaps it is just the tears falling from Ragnar’s eyes that make him feel that way.

 

“I am not leaving you,” Athelstan says, smile never fading.

 

Ragnar closes his eyes. It is all that matters.

 

 

When he opens them again, he isn’t in the snake pit anymore. He is in a huge, bright field. There is someone standing above him.

 

“One-Eye?” Ragnar grunts.

 

“It took you some time,” Arne exclaims, pulling Ragnar on his feet.

 

Now that Ragnar can get a better look, he notices the other warriors standing in a circle around him. Some of them were fighting by his side merely two days ago. Others, like Leif, long before that. Yet Ragnar can’t see the man he hoped would be there.

 

“Is it disappointment I see in your eyes?” Arne teases.

 

Before Ragnar can come up with a satisfying answer, he catches movement on the side, and turns just in time to see familiar dark curls appearing between two warriors.

 

“Athelstan.”

 

It is only a whisper, yet Ragnar is pretty sure the hundreds of warriors gathered here can hear him. He doesn’t care, because Athelstan grins as he steps out of the circle. Ragnar lets him approach; he is too struck to do anything else. His whole body shakes when Athelstan reaches out to cup his jaw. Ragnar presses his hand on Athelstan’s, just to be sure that he isn’t hallucinating it.

 

“I feared you were with your God,” Ragnar finally says, and Athelstan’s smile widens.

 

“Nonsense. I was waiting for you.”

 

Ragnar allows himself the pleasure of staring into Athelstan’s lively eyes for longer than he ever did, until Athelstan blushes and looks away with a laugh. They have all the time they want, after all. They will never have to part ways again.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I broke two of my personal rules with this fic. First one being "you don't write another fic when you are already writing something" and the second "No death fic. Ever." But then, I saw Vikings' latest promo and this wouldn't just leave my head. And here we are.
> 
> Now I can go back to my usual fantasies in which no one dies.


End file.
